A Week Ago....

My grandpa died a week ago today. I was helping in Children's Ministry during first service and never checked my phone. As soon as I walked into second service to sit with Hubby, he got up. I thought he was headed out to the bathroom or for a drink or something, but he told me to come with him....we got out into the hall, he looked at me and said, "You haven't talked to your mom yet, have you?". And I lost it. Fell apart right there in the church hall. My heart ached, I couldn't think...my grandpa was gone.

He had been slipping for some time. My grandpa had Alzheimer's and it had really gotten bad in the past year or so. Things started back in 2002 when my grandma died from lung cancer. At first he was just forgetful, seemingly depressed from losing my grandpa. But every year around September (when my grandma had been diagnosed) to November (when she died), he had a major decline. And he didn't get better. So each year we could practically pinpoint when we were going to lose a little more of him.

And this year we've lost all of him. I miss you, Grandpa. I miss your hugs, your smiles, your constant affection and love. I miss talking politics, education and faith with you. I miss the support and encouragement you gave and how happy you always were to see me. I am so sad that my children will never know my grandparents - but I promise they will know all about you. They will know how much you loved us. They will know how you used to tell us stories before bed when we spent the night. They will know how you used to slip us packets of M&M's from your office and how much you loved sweets yourself. They will be educated and be able to have the kind of conversations you loved to have. They will see pictures of you and know where you grew up, where you raised your kids and how you loved on your grandkids. Now that I've finally become a coffee lover, they will know that wonderful smell of waking up to a fresh cup of coffee that I used to love when I spent the night - knowing you and Grandma were already up, sitting at the table and reading the paper. You will not be forgotten, sweet Grandpa. You and Grandma will always be on our hearts and in our minds.

I made some molasses cookies the other day - oh how I wish you could have had some. They came out perfectly - soft and chewy, perfectly sweet. I know they were your favorite, and I made them just for you.

Thinking of you, missing you and loving you forever, Grandpa. Praying that God met you in your last moments and ushered you into heaven with Him. Praying that someday I will see you again. I love you, Grandpa. Thank you for amazing memories. Thank you for the life you shared with us.