I'm having one of those "it's not fair that we have to go through all this infertility crap with everything else we've had to endure in our 5 years of marriage, why did OUR transfer fail when so many others succeed, I miss my babies, I don't get it and this all sucks" kind of days. These days are not fun.
And yet I know I am blessed beyond measure and am determined to see the Light in all of this. The Light being Christ, the reason to have any joy at all in the midst of all of this.
And I WILL find fun and happiness in the little things...like going to look at Christmas lights last night with my hubby...baking cookies and watching Christmas cookies tomorrow with my mom....and having wonderful family and friends to celebrate Christ's birth with once again.
But I still don't get it. And I still miss my babies and wish they were here.
3 comments:
HUGS HEATHER! I know it won't help you at all, but you are 100% right, it's not fair! I know things all happen for a reason, but it's hard sometimes to make sense of those things. It's perfectly ok to have those days!! You are still in my prayers everyday that your miracle comes very soon!!! CHRISTMAS HUGS AND BLESSINGS TO YOU AND RODNEY!!
Don't give up!!! It took us almost 13 years to have a healthy pregnancy- not to mention our adoptions after birth along the way!!!
Hugs!!!
I know how you feel, Heather. The sadness comes and goes. Last night I asked my DH, "Don't you feel kind of discouraged by all of this?" and he said, "You know, I spent a lot of my life worrying about one thing or another. I'm looking forward to being a parent and I'm enjoying being married to you, and I'm choosing to love our life together as it is today." That made me feel so much better. We do love each other and we do have a great life! We will be parents, I just don't know how long it will take. Hopefully you have days like this too. They tend to offset the miserable ones where I curse the world for all its unfairness.
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