I'm having a hard time lately. It has nothing to do with my IF, with fears of this pregnancy or anything related to children or the journey we have been on. It doesn't have to do with hubby's illness. It doesn't have anything to do with anything here in this life.
It has been some time since I have felt close to my Father. I am at a loss and my relationship with Him is distant. I know that this has nothing to do with Him and everything to do with me - my attitude, my actions, my thoughts. He is there all the time - He never leaves, He never forsakes, He never lets go.
But I do. I get caught up in work, in life, in TV, in my own thoughts, in this world...and I lose sight of Him.
And right now there is a pain that has become so real to me that reminds me of just how far I have gone. How long I have gone without clinging to Him every moment of every day. I need Him. I miss Him. I want Him. And yet I don't seem to take the steps to get back. Why not? I don't know. I don't know what to think, what to do or what is going on with me. It hurts. And there is a hole in me that I desperately want filled.
4 comments:
I HEAR YOU Heather! I need to also make more of an effort to be with THE ONE who loves me more than anything! Thanks for the reminder! HUGS!
I think we all feel like that at times. I agree with embieadoptmom, we have to make the effort because like you said, it's us and not Him that's moved away. I would just start by reading the Word and soaking it up. He will refresh you!
Like Ashley said, we all feel this way from time to time. Praying for you! :)
HUGS! I'm sure you'll be able to find your way back!
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