Suddenly I'm surrounded all over again by pregnancy announcements. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled for everyone. But my goodness, it's the 2nd or 3rd pregnancy for everyone since we started trying....and I'm just having one of "those" nights. I don't wish anyone wasn't pregnant - I just wish I was. I wish I had an announcement to make. I wish I still had the hope of "maybe this month".
But I don't. I don't wonder each month. I don't expect. I know that God has a plan and that it is good, but tonight I am hurting. I long to hold my own children. I long to feel them growing inside of me. I long to tell our family that we are going to have a baby.
And while I know that EA is where God is leading us, tonight is one of those nights I am grieving the fact that we will not have our own biological children. I feel guilty for saying that because I know that the children God brings us will be our children. I know that we will love our children more than we ever thought possible. I am convinced that God has this all laid out.
But tonight, I'm hurting from the sheer number of announcements, the loss of hope for "this" month or "that" month and the unknown of how long it will still be before we have our own announcement. What a glorious day that will be.
4 comments:
Oh, my friend, I'm so sorry you are in this place right now. I do understand, and I'm here for you.
I can't express how deeply sorry I am that you have to go through this. It's just not fair and I pray all the time that your miracle comes soon. Hugs!
Sweetie,I wish it was you giving an announcement. We all want that so badly for you. ((((HUGS)))
You are constantly in my prayers as well and my heart breaks for you! I know God will give you your desires soon! I'm glad you had a wonderful time in San Diego!
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