A week from tomorrow I will be officially PUPO. Princess status all the way through the weekend, doing my best to help my babies settle in for a nice long 9 months.
Wait a minute! Am I really talking about myself? The woman who has never been pregnant in her life? The woman who has longed of and dreamed for carrying a baby, feeling him or her kick, hiccup, move? The woman who has dreamt for years of this time in her life?
It's surreal. I've been sticking myself with needles, being probed with an internal ultrasound wand and swallowing my prenatal vitamins and baby aspirin every day. And yet it still hasn't hit me.
One minute I'm ecstatic and I just KNOW I will be pregnant and have beautiful babies when all is said and done. The next minute I'm terrified and think of all the ways this could not work out. I'm scared of losing my babies. The thoughts start to enter my head.
"What if they don't survive the thaw?"
"What if they don't implant?"
"What if I miscarry?"
And the list goes on. But know that my God is NOT a God of fear. He is in control, and I will trust in Him, for He is faithful. No matter the outcome, I am giving my babies a chance at life - here on earth or in eternity with our amazing God. And whatever happens, I will rest in the fact knowing that we gave these precious lives their chance at LIFE.
Oh BTW - if you don't know what PUPO is, it means Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise. And come next Friday, that will be me. Pregnant. And then that surreal feeling starts all over again.
6 comments:
I could have written this exact post!!! Praying that your embies snuggle in for 9 months!!!
Sounds like you are already a mama! Worrying constantly about your babies. :) Welcome to the world of motherhood.
I can't wait for next week!! So exciting!
Drink lots of pineapple juice and relax all weekend.
PRAYING your little ones settle in for nine long healthy months!!! :)
I am just so freakin excited for you! YAAAYY!!
It truly is surreal! Can't believe you're almost there! Trusting God through the details of the next chapter of your life, however they unfold!
Oh my goodness, I have tears of JOY in my eyes. (((hugs))) I love you girl. I'm thrilled for you and will be praying hard for your precious babies.
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